La Baia Bar Cucina

There seems to be a terrible unspoken rule in Melbourne that the better the location, the worst the food - La Baia Bar Cucina was no exception. 

To start with, the service was slow, inattentive and unhelpful - incredibly so - especially considering that on a Saturday night the restaurant was only half full.  Even that may have been an exceptional turn out for the restaurant, with our fellow patrons appearing to have only have attended due to a Scoopon voucher we googled afterwards when wondering why so many couples ordered the same seafood platter and bottle of wine. 

The food wasn’t much better...In addition to having the most absurd garnish of alfalfa sprouts scattering the plate, the oysters kilpatrick out looking, well, grey. Piled high with dried cheap bacon, it was impossible to tell the quality of the oyster underneath -  which tends to be a sure sign in itself of its freshness. 

The ragu pappardelle was surprisingly delicious (despite the alfalfa on top - come on guys, what’s with all the alfalfa??) - the sauce was well seasoned and rich with flavour and the pasta was cooked al dente. However, the margarita pizza we ordered to share with it was cold and bordering on bland. 

The evening was topped off by a flickering light above our table, making the experience at La Baia feel more like a cheap night club (thank goodness we didn’t have epilepsy!) rather than a nice evening out for a meal. Unfortunately, a complete fail.

Food: 2/5

Service: 2/5

Venue: 2.5/5

Verdict: 6.5/15

Total: don’t bother - it’s not worth the calories

 

The Atlantic

When you think of restaurants on South Bank in the CBD, you often think overpriced, underserviced, and full of tourists. Setting itself up in the ranks of Rockpool, Nobu and Spice Temple, South Bank's The Atlantic is one of the few that appears to have separated itself from the crowd. Often coined as one of the city's best seafood restaurants, The Atlantic, to no surprise, offers an extensive array of seafood, whilst also catering to the vegetarians and the red meat eating crowd.

The Kilpatrick Oysters and the Garlic Prawns were definitely the highlights of the evening.  The oysters were fresh and well seasoned, and the garlic sauce was so good that there was unquestionably a subtle fight to try and scrape the last drippings of sauce from the serving plate.

 

 

The Moreton Bay Bug Spaghetti however, didn't quite hit the same mark. Whilst the pasta was cooked al dente and the Moreton Bay Bug tasted fresh, the verdict on the table was that the overall dish was missing something - unhelpfully, none of us on the table could work out what it was.  We did, however, order some fresh chilli which definitely lifted the dishes flavour.

Whilst the service was slow, and at times completely uninterested, with its outdoor seating overlooking the river, if you can manage to score yourself a spot out the front, The Atlantic certainly earns itself a spot as one of Melbourne's go-to venues for a summer night's dinner or a leisurely long lunch.

Food: 3.5/5
Service: 3.5/5
Venue: 3.5/5
Total: 10/15
Verdict: Love - get around to trying it soon

Kisume

 

Japanese inspired Kisume is the latest culinary member of the Lucas Group - but unlike many of its siblings, it just didn’t quite hit the mark. Whilst it certainly wasn’t horrible and many of the dishes were incredibly tasty - what appeared to be a sleek and sexy venue from the pictures turned out to be small and cramped, with its only view being a dreary car park (why even have a window?), and after splashing the cash of around $180 each (which to be fair, also included two rather inexpensive bottles of wine between 4), we all still left the venue feeling hungry.

We opted for the "Feed Me" option on the menu, which is not the greatest choice if you actually want to be fed. Also, on seeing what the tables around us had ordered, I definitely think we got the short straw as to what Kisume had to offer.

The sushi and sashimi was fresh and presented beautifully. The miso soup was also presented beautifully, with a tofu flower brimming to the top, but unfortunately was incredibly bland.







The foie gras and beef tenderloin was by far the highlight of the night - the beef was cooked to absolute perfection and the foie gras added an incredible richness to the dish.

If you're not full after the mains, don't hold your hopes up with desert - we were each served a ball of foam each.  The lactose intolerant's desert of fresh sortbet looked like a much more tempting option.

Whilst Kisume had a few hits, walking away hungry after splashing the cash in a cramped venue with a view of a car park is never okay.

Food: 3/5
Service: 3/5
Venue: 2.5/5
Total: 8.5/15
Verdict: Don't Bother

Sparrow's Philly Cheesesteaks

Sparrow's Philly Cheeseteaks is living proof that late night eats don’t have to be inferior from Melbourne’s usual standard of dining.  Situated in the Fitzroy pub Catfish, whilst the venue itself is nothing overly surprising for a Northside pub, Sparrow's authentic Philly cheesesteaks and loaded chilli cheese fries are definitely something worth talking about.

Indeed, Sparrow's loaded chilli cheese fries are potentially some of the best loaded fries I've had in Melbourne - served up with actual cheese rather than cheese sauce (which I know some people will say is authentic, but so is cheese in a can, and that stuff won't be coming anywhere near my fries thank you), and topped with juicy well spiced chili which is just bursting with flavour, these loaded fries definitely cannot be missed.

My friend ordered the Hoagie with grilled beef, cheese, onions, fresh lettuce and tomato which looked, as my friend coined it, underwhelming.  But after letting me take a bite, I was soon to agree with her that the flavours in this Cheeseteak were anything but underwhelming - it was absolutely delicious.

Eating at Sparrow's Philly Cheeseteaks and not ordering one of their famous Cheeseteaks for myself is probably about as bad as going to Rockpool and not opting for the steak- but hey, at least it gives me a great excuse to head back soon.

Food: 4/5
Service: 3.5/5
Venue: 3.5/5
Total: 11/15
Verdict: Love - get around to trying it soon.

Mugen Ramen & Bar

With its friendly and attentive service, reasonable price tag, great Zomato rating and quality crockery (and I admit, it does seem strange to comment on the crockery, but this stuff was notably good) I really wanted to love Mugen Ramen - like really - but unfortunately their food just didn’t hit the mark.

Nestled down Bligh Place off Flinders Lane, the venue itself is spread across two levels - offering a more casual bar-esque area at the top of the stairs which is perfect for people watching, and a more formal dining area at the bottom. Offering Japanese inspired cuisine, the menu mainly consists of "Japanese Tapas" and  a variety of Ramens.

Presented beautifully, the house made pork gyoza served with Mugen's Special Sauce came out looking incredibly delicious - however, they were also lukewarm.

 

The Tantan-Men with its spicy sesame broth, house made thin noodles and spicy pork mince was another dish that was presented beautifully.  But just like the gyoza, it was all for show. The ‘spicy’ broth wasn’t at all spicy, and it had the strangest flavour that left a terrible after taste in my mouth for the night.



At the end of the meal when the waiter (with his incredibly warm) smile helped me put my jacket on, I found myself thinking in frustration ‘why couldn’t your food just have been better??’ But alas, unfortunately both me and my fellow diner agreed that Mugen Ramen didn’t hit the mark.

Food:2/5
Service:4.5/5
Venue: 4/5
Total: 10.5/15

Peko Peko

There is a reason why Peko Peko in South Melbourne is always filled to the brim and has such an incredible rating on Zomato - and no, it’s not just because it has a catchy name - Peko Peko’s Japanese inspired cuisine is cheap, creative and most importantly, absolutely delicious.

Whilst it is definitely a no frills kind of venue, the tables and glasses are clean and the service is quick.  If you’re a fan of Japanese curry then Peko’s Crispy Calamari Curry is definitely a must - the calamari manages to stay crisp on the outside while tender and juicy on the inside, and the curry sauce is rich with flavour. The Chicken Dumplings with seared prawn and coriander mayo is also a must - with sauce so good you'll want to lick the sauce off the plate with your finger.

 

But to be honest, you really can’t go wrong with whatever you order at Peko Peko, with the Spinach Beef Dumplings with seared scallops and chili oil, and the Spicy Basil 3 Cup Noodle  also being excellent options (although, the Spicy Basil 3 Cup Noodle dish may have been a bit too overzealous with the silken tofu).

 



Incredible food at a budget price - I’ll definitely be back again soon.

Food: 4.5/5
Service: 3.5/5
Venue: 3/5
Total: 11/15
Verdict: love - get around to trying it soon

China Bar - Swanston Street

 

 

China Bar is a chain of, well, as the name would suggest, Chinese restaurants. Open until the early hours of the morning, China Bar serves up a variety of dim sum, rice dishes and other Chinese eats.

But is the food any good? Does this even matter when you’re being served at 2am in the morning? I say it does - and China Bar was definitely dissapointing on the food front. The prawn and garlic chive dumplings had no flavour, the shanghai dumplings were soggy and the pan fried pork dumplings were cold. They weren't even cheap on dumpling standards - the dim sum worked out to be over $2 a piece - even Hutong's dumplings are much cheaper than that, and that is saying something!



 

 

The highlight of the night was by far the beef in black bean sauce with rice noodle - the beef was tender, the noodles cooked well and the whole dish was surprisingly full of flavour.

 

With such top quality Melbourne eateries open into the wee hours of the morning, there really is no excuse for a soggy, on the expensive side, dumpling!

Food: 2/5
Service: 3/5
Venue: 3/5
Total: 8/15
Verdict: don’t bother - stick with Shark Fin House

BKK

BKK in a word? Underwhelming. Although, in fairness to BKK, their less than rave review stemmed mainly from their family name -  as a member of the Hanoi Hannah/Tokyo Tina group, it was always going to be tricky for them to meet the incredibly high expectations I had for this place when walking through its doors.

Situated in Saigon Sally’s old hood, the downstairs of the venue itself is, well, quite sterile - consisting of vast white walls with not a plant, painting or other decorative feature in sight.

Offering Thai inspired cuisine, the menu offers up many of the usual Thai culprits, but also offers a few surprises, including the Fried Green Papaya Nest with sweet pork, cherry tomatoes, peanuts and som tum, and the Broken Mussel Pancake with bean shoots and home made siracha.  As a lover of green papaya salad (and if I'm going to be honest, of most things fried!), I certainly couldn't go past the Fired Green Papaya Nest. Whilst mildly apprehensive about my papaya being fried, it actually added a delightful texture to the dish, which overall was bright, fresh and well balanced in flavour. The shredded chicken salad with green mango, prawns, peanuts, herbs and chilli was also a highlight of the night.

The Thai Green Curry and the Rice Noodles with Prawns, Chilli, Basil and Snake Bean were "good", however they were no better than a $10 dish you could grab from your local take away joint such as Thailander.

The service was by far the highlight of the evening - friendly, attentive and completely across the menu, they were an absolute delight. However, whilst the service was impressive, with its hit and miss menu, I definitely won't be running back through BKK's doors.

Food: 3/5
Service: 4.5/5
Venue: 2.5:5
Total: 10/15
Verdict: Verging on don't bother - there's so many other amazing Thai places in Melbourne.

Gru Thai

They say that you should never judge a book by its cover, well when it comes to Gru Thai, you shouldn’t judge a restaurant by its shop front. Looking cheap, dark and dingy from the outside - you’d be forgiven for thinking this place doubled up as a brothel. However, on walking through Gru Thai’s doors I was surprised to find a light and bright restaurant brimming with patrons.

From fish cakes to Thai green curry, Gru Thai has all of usual culprits. The drunken noodles with minced pork and green beans however was by far the highlight of the night, and definitely a dish I would go back to Gru Thai to order again.




The pad chicken satay was also on our menu for the night.  The chicken was cooked well, and the vegetables remained crisp, however the sauce was verging on watery and lacked any depth of flavour.

 

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say the service was petty dismal - not only was it slow, they forgot our entrees, served two of our mains without rice, then served the last main about 45 minutes later. But service aside, the drunken noodles were enough to make Gru Thai a contender for takeaway.


Food: 3/5
Service: 2/5
Venue: 3/5
Total: 8/10
Verdict: like - get around to trying it at some point - but perhaps stick to take out

Tina's Noodle Kitchen

Offering the likes of Braised Pork Feet with Pickles and Bones, and Chilli Blood Curd Combination, Tina’s Noodle Kitchen could definitely be coined ‘authentic’. Part of the Dainty Sichuan Group, this Swanston Street establishment offers a no frills inexpensive experience, with a menu consisting solely of noodles.

Whilst I wasn't quite brave enough to opt for the Chilli Blood Curd Combination, the hot and spicy beef slices looked pretty tempting. However, what started off as a decent (but far from delicious) bowl of soup, was quickly destroyed by a shard of some obscure spice (perhaps the love product of a star anise, chilli pepper and green peppercorn gone terribly wrong) which overpowered my taste buds and tainted the rest of the dish

 

 My friend ordered the mixed vegetables - which she was tasty, even though she only recognised about 70% of the vegetables in it.



Was it terrible? No. But my soup lacked any depth of flavour, and with so many other amazing Noodle houses in Melbourne, it’s certainly not somewhere I’d be rushing back to.


Food: 2.5/5
Service: 2.5/5
Venue: 2.5/5
Total: 7.5/15
Verdict: don’t bother - there are too many other amazing Noodle houses in Melbourne

Lamaro's

Exquisite is just one of the words that I'd use to describe South Melbourne's hidden treasure Lamaro's. Tucked away on Cecil Street, Lamaro's dining room is the place to go to if you're after fine dining with a local touch - there won't be a glimmer of pretentiousness or snobbery whilst your being served up your French champagne and oysters - just a friendly smile and a 'how else can we help'.

Lamaro's menu is Modern Australian scattered with international influences, offering the likes of red duck curry and seared yellowfin tuna in their formal dining room, and pork belly kim chi Baos and Soft Shell Carb Sliders in their more casual bar. Opting for the more formal dining room menu, we couldn't go past kicking off our meal with a serve of oysters, which were so plump juicy we ordered a second serve.

The whole deep fried baby snapper with coconut caramel sauce and Asian salad was nothing short of exquisite. Coming out as a whole fish, the way it was prepared made it surprisingly easy to navigate - and it certainly wasn't just a pretty face, whilst deep fried - the fish was still fresh and juicy, and the tangy Asian salad was the perfect accompaniment.

Offering the option of a formal dining room, a bar with a more casual menu, and even a scattering of outdoor seating, Lamaro's has you covered for any occasion.

Food: 4.5/5
Service: 5/5
Venue: 4/5
Total: 13.5/15
Verdict: love - get around to trying it soon

Din Tai Fung

Its' no secret that with their no frill vibes, cheap but delicious eats and BYO policies, dumpling houses are one of my favourite things about the Melbourne food scene, so it may come as a surprise that I only recently tried Din Tai Fung's famous rainbow dumplings.

Allegedly naturally coloured without artificial food dyes (and I emphasise the word allegedly), Din Tai Fung's "Dumpling Gems" are made up of a Salad Green, Golden Corn, Seafood, Bolognese, Cheese, BBQ and Garlic Pork dumpling.

 

Whilst dumplings and cheese by themselves are up there with some of my favourite food - I thought the two would marry together about as well as a banana and cheese burrito (which unfortunately is a thing!), but the cheese dumping was actually the tastiest dumpling of the lot. The Golden Corn dumpling was also delicious. But novelty aside, once is probably enough for me to try these "Gem" dumplings, as they didn't quite hit the mark like the likes of a classic pan fried pork dumpling, or Din Tai Fung's Xiao Long Bao (pictured below).

 

 

When I heard that Din Tai Fung was located at the Emporium, I was expecting to pull up a chair at a food court - but to my delight, Din Tai Fung is its own self contained restaurant, which even has a separate entrance to Emporium if you don't want to be tempted by the shops on your way.

With its decent food and reasonable price tag, the novelty factor alone of the Gem dumplings means that this place is worth a try.
 

Food: 3/5

Decor: 3/5
Service: 3/5
Total: 9/15
Verdict: Like - Get around to trying it at some point. 

Park Street Pasta and Wine

What makes a good local? Somewhere modern but still inviting is a good start, delicious and nourishing food is a must, and warm and friendly staff (who are passionate about what they do) is non-negotiable.  If the owners just happen to be rather good looking too, well that's just a bonus. Park Street Pasta and Wine, one of the latest eateries to join the South Melbourne food scene, manages to tick all of the boxes.

Offering authentic Italian cuisine, the menu is nothing less than drool worthy.  With its fresh flavours and generous portions of seafood, the home made fettuccine with prawn and mussels is absolutely divine.

If your looking for something on the heartier side (and don't worry, it doesn't actually come with that much cheese, the staff were just graciously appeasing my parmesan addiction), the casarecce with wagyu beef cheek ragu is a must.

Whatever you do, make sure to save room for desert. Whilst I don't generally have a sweet tooth, the bombolini, lemon curd, marscapone and passionfruit is definitely worth saving room for.

However, it's really the small touches that sets this place apart. No boring bread and better dumped on your table in sight - instead you will be offered warmed herbed focaccia with whipped lardo.  Also, too shy or sophisticated to lick your plate clean (and trust me, you'll want to)? No worries - they will offer you even more complimentary bread to mop up the delicious juices.

When you leave a place already planning when you'll return, you know it's a good sign. Watch out the likes Tipo 00 and Grossi Florentino Grill, you better watch your back - there is clearly a new contender in town.

Food: 4.5/5
Service: 5/5
Venue: 4.5/5
Total: 14/15
Verdict: Love - get around to trying it soon